Celebrating...

My Dear Praying Friends and Family,

Just a quick update…The Lord has sent us a time of refreshment… I have been feeling wonderful, the extreme tiredness and heaviness after radiation has lifted and I feel like myself again…well almost. I still get tired a lot but that just comes with the territory. Now its “wait and see” time….Its a hard but sweet place to be, I get to be close to my Jesus like never before…constantly going to Him for comfort, strength as the needs come up...and He is always there in power and love, He knows what I am going through because He has been there…And that brings me to how special this Christmas season is.

As we celebrate how Jesus came as a baby let us never forget that that is just half the story… He came to die…That is the “Joy to the World” that we sing about. The one who made the universe and the one who gives each one of us the next breath came as a baby, grew up and lived among us. When the time came He went to the cross to do what He came for…(For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16) to make a way for us to get back into relationship with Himself…without which we are all hopeless, naturally we run from God not too Him….Because we all mess up (sin) at one point or another in our life…some of us more than others…we need to pay for it with our life…But have you heard???…we don’t have to die for our sins because Jesus did it for us….all we have to do is believe Him….and then the perfect life he lived gets put into our account so at the end when we meet God (which all of us will) He will see a perfect life and we will get an entrance into Heaven that only perfection can enter….Wow what a deal is that!!!!!! And then on top of all that the moment you believe you start eternal life… this is really living….EVERYTHING that comes your way is for your benefit and good because its all designed to make you like Jesus and prepare you for heaven. In this season of my life this everything has included some bad things like cancer etc but ultimately these are all GOOD Rom. 8:28. This is the reason I can rejoice and celebrate the birth of Jesus this year like never before because I know a little bit more about how much I am loved by the King of the universe. My wish for you is if you don’t know Him seek Him and the ones that know Him bask is His love and give it away. Have a wonderful Christmas and a blessed New Year.

On a lighter note my hair is growing back CURLY….

Thank you all for your prayers.
In His Loving Hands,
Miriam

Nandor....arrow...foot...deer

Last time I wrote about Nandor he was still in hospital waiting to be stitched up. It turns out that his tendons were all in tact so the surgeon stitched him up the next morning. He stayed in hospital 2 nights but by the second morning he was getting pretty insy to get out of there. I picked him up Mon morning so at least we got to spend the day together before I had to go back to Toronto. He is off the crutches and moving around pretty well. It still swells sometimes by the evening but that is normal when he has been on it all day. He also went hunting with Jakob the last week of the season so that gives you an idea how he is doing….again...thanks be to God....

This is a picture of a hike we all took that weekend.

Radiation is Finished!!!

These past 7 weeks just flew by. As you can see I haven’t been keeping the blog updated. I was just too tired most nights. Going through this treatment was very exhausting. The nurses get us up at 7:00am, there is no time to sleep in or take it easy. Most of the day was traveling to the hospital, waiting for the treatment, getting treatment, blood work, traveling back to the lodge. After the first 2-3 weeks I was just too tired to take my walks to TBS. But remember one of my worries at the beginning that I will be all alone? Well the Lord made sure that did not happen. I was surrounded by people all the time. I met several believers and all kinds of wonderful people at the lodge and the hospital. The neatest thing is we were all going through cancer and we could all support each other in our battles.
I also sensed the prayers of you all….some days when it was especially difficult and all I wanted to do is stay in bed and mope, someone was praying and I had the strength to get up, put one foot in front of the other and go… God works in mysterious ways through the prayers of His people. I not just felt the prayers but was reminded of them practically by the phone calls, little gifts that I opened everyday from the ladies at church, the verses my husband would text me, cards and emails. I feel saying thank you is just not enough but…Thank You!!
These next 2 weeks will be a bit hard, they say some symptoms will be worse before they get better. I am experiencing bowel issues, burns on my lower back and lack of appetite.
I have learned so many things in these past weeks but one of the biggest lessons is how much my Father in Heaven loves and cares for His children!!!!

Through the LORDS mercies we are not consumed,
Because of His compassions fail not
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
The LORD is my portion says my soul,
Therefore I hope in Him!!

In His Hands,
Miriam

Thanks Be To God

So much has transpired since I last wrote, Ive been really busy but that is a good thing....It is now Thanksgiving Weekend.. wow how time flies. We are having our annual dinner etc. with the family and it sure feels good to be home and together…but our family never misses a beat as far as excitement and Nandor topped it off this weekend for us. Saturday we all went for a hike at a beautiful waterfalls in North Bay, the leaves are peaking this weekend and it is gorgeous!!!! The girls all went home to prepare the yummy Thanksgiving turkey dinner and the guys, Nandor, Ed and Ryan went for a quick hunt. Hours later and already dark we got a call that they are going up to North Bay to take Nandor to emerg. He shot a deer and while dragging it back to the car he dropped the arrow that killed the deer and kicked into it. It went through his boot and hit a major artery. But before they went to emerg the deer was tagged and put into the car. Yes.. he got his deer!!!! By this time he had a pool of blood on the floor of Rebekah’s car and blood all over the dashboard. Imagine the sight when he arrived at emerg…he is in full camo gear…his right arm if full of deer blood from gutting it, I’m sure there was some splattering on his face and hands… then his foot is wrapped in a towel dripping with blood. Needless to say they brought him in right away…they didn’t want the others to faint by seeing him…They kept him for the night and this morning the surgeon saw him and thankfully all the tendons are alright...he ran a fever at night so they are giving antibiotics and hopefully tomorrow the surgeon can stitch him back up. I will keep you posted as to what is happening and please pray that he will heal up quickly.

My treatments are going pretty good, doctor is pleased as to how well I am tolerating them. I did get called in on Friday to let me know that my counts are dropping and they will be giving me a blood transfusion on Thursday. Other than that I am pretty busy and that helps the days pass quicker. I have met several believers among the patients that are staying at the Lodge and am always meeting new people that are going through cancer. I also dropped into Toronto Baptist Seminary/ Jarvis St Baptist Church which is about four blocks from where I am staying. They have all been wonderful there, I walk over when I can and help out where I can and attend chapel and classes when I can.

I have been learning a bit or two about waiting lately. There is a lot of waiting in my days….waiting for the shuttle that takes us to the treatment…waiting to get the treatment….waiting to come back on the shuttle…waiting for the weekend so I can come home and see my wonderful family and awesome husband….waiting to see if these treatments are working, but the Lord says waiting is a good thing…

Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the Lord
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.

His understanding is unsearchable,
He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.

Even the youths shall faint and be weary
And the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles
They shall run and not be weary
They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:28-31

So this Thanksgiving weekend I am so thankful for the wonderful things the Lord is doing, and most of all for the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ.

In His Hands,
Miriam

Contact Info

My laptop is not picking up wireless signals so I am stuck. Hopefully this weekend we will figure it out. In the meantime my room phone # is 1-416-413-8065. I cannot call out long distance but I can get calls in. If I am not there my room mate will pick up or you can leave a message.

Yesterday my treatment was cancelled so Nandor and I went for a long walk in downtown TO. Today I went for a cabbagetown tour with a volunteer and my treatment will be at 3:20.

In His Hands,
Miriam

Toronto

Well, here I am in the big city of Toronto. I am overlooking Yorkdale mall and the never ending traffic. Nandor had a seminar to attend in the area today so we came yesterday and stayed at the Holiday Inn. God even had that planned… Today is my first radiation treatment at 2:30 then we will go over to the Princess Margaret Lodge to settle in for the next few days and Nandor will go home. This is all so new, I am a bit nervous but I really sense that the Lord is with me. I am so used to being with my family or having them close by… so that kind of hurts… but I know this has all been orchestrated by the Lord and His purposes will be revealed as I put one foot in front of the other and move forward for His glory....
Please pray with me that I will have opportunities to minister to others around me and that I would be sensitive to them. It is so easy in this situation to be self centered, self absorbed and miss what is going on around me. I have been given so much, Lord help me to give it away…
Also please pray that as I go through these radiation treatments, the bowels and other organs will not get damaged. I think I wrote this verse in the past but I will do it again, it means so much to me.

But now, thus says the Lord who created you:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you
I have called you by your name;
You are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH THE FIRE, YOU SHALL NOT BE BURNED
NOR SHALL THE FLAME SCORCH YOU.
For I AM the Lord your God.
Isaiah 43:1-3

Please pray for my family at home.

In His Hands,
Miriam

More News

We went to Sunnybrook yesterday and saw my new doctor. She has had experience with this cancer and her strong recommendation was that we start radiation therapy immediately. Long story short my treatments start next Wed Sept 23. I am now trying to get everything organized as far as getting to and from treatments, my stay in Toronto etc….It will be for 7 weeks, Mon to Fri. I will be staying at Princess Margaret Lodge and hoping through the Cancer Society I will be able to get rides to and from Toronto.

This is all a bit overwhelming, please pray that God would continually sustain and strengthen my family and I through this. Pray that we will see Him in everything.

“See God in everything, and God will calm and colour all that thou dost see!”

Thanks for praying,
In His Hands,
Miriam

Good News

Again its been a while since I wrote but finally I am feeling better. Its been tough, even though chemo is done I am now feeling the effects like nausea, joints pain, numb fingers and toes, stiff ness and pain in my fingers and every time I even thought about the computer I got nauseated. Ha,ha, they actually have a name for that, its called “associative nausea”. But God has been giving me the strength for the day and He is so faithful!!!!

When we saw the radiation doctor last time he suggested we continue treatment with radiation for 6 weeks, the docs were pretty sure there was some regrowth just because of the aggressive type of cancer it is but before they would proceed they ordered a CT scan to see what was happening after the chemo. I had the scan last week and yesterday we got the results. There is nothing there!!! Docs were stumped again… He said he will not do radiation but will pass me over to another doctor in Toronto Sunnybrook Hospital. We were very pleased, there is always wisdom in numbers. Then as I am writing this I got a phone call that my appointment is tomorrow morning at 10:30. Wow.. God is so good!!!

So as we are rejoicing in this time of refreshment/encouragement we are still leaning hard on the Lord. It’s hard to explain but it’s a very emotional time as far as how things will turn. I can go down one road and think its all over and the cancer is never coming back…that would probably be denial… then on the other hand I could go down the other road and think its all over and I have to go…but that is just plain excruciating. So I am learning I have no business going down either of those roads because God did not promise his grace for stuff like that (our worrying). He said He will give us the grace we need today and tomorrow will take care of itself. I am slowly learning to take each day as they come, live life to its fullest and be about my Fathers business. And to my amazement there is no fear, anxiety but a carefreeness, safety and a satisfaction that is unexplainable…I am safe in the arms of Jesus.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:33-34

Rejoicing….
In His Hands,
Miriam

The Next Step

Its been busy the last few weeks and in one sense the time just flew by and the other sense it was difficult. It is very helpful for me and my family to be as normal as possible if that’s possible...ha ha.. The cousins (Meghan, Aleah, Austin and Victoria) were here for 10 days and we had a blast…all the yummy dinners….trips to the beach….movies….shopping…watching the stars.. etc it was fun. Then came my last big week of chemo. Aniko came with Luke and Abby till Thursday. She brought me to treatments and cooked dinners for us. I just have to say how much of an awesome family I have. Through this whole experience we have had a steady stream of visitors, being here to help or just coming to my treatments with me. It has made all the difference… Thank you…
I was able to go to Dehaans Annual BBQ and had a great time of visiting with everyone. Its been very difficult since last Friday but the Lord has been giving us strength for the day.
I would like to ask for prayer for tomorrow. We will be going to Sudbury for an appointment with the Radiation doctor when they will tell us what the next step will be in my treatment. Pray that God will give the doctors wisdom and we would be submissive to what He has in store for us next. But most of all like this song expresses we will continually be given the GRACE to praise Him in the storm.

I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen and it’s still raining
as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain,“I’m with you”
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:And I’ll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are no matter where I am
and every tear I’ve cried You hold in your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm….Casting Crowns

Home again

Thank you all for your prayers. My hemoglobin went up and I am feeling like a million dollars this morning. Mind you I camped out in the er for 12 hours but it sure helped!! I felt like I was in the er movie, all kinds of people came through, woman from prison, guy that fainted in the barber chair, roll over accident.
God is so GOOD!!! now I get to go to church and worship, what a priviledge....
Praise God from whom ALL blessing flow!!!

In His Hands,
Miriam

From Rebekah

Hello everyone.
This is Rebekah writing today. Mom went up to emerge today due to heart palpitations. She’s been experiencing them quite a bit this week, anytime she does anything physical.
They found that her blood cell count was very low, the lowest its ever been. They are in the process of giving her three blood transfusions. Other than that she is feeling good. Thank you all for your prayers. I’ll update when I find out more.

Don’t Lose Heart!!!

Its been a while since I wrote….finally feel good enough to get back on the computer. The recovery from the last big chemo week has been very hard and slow. I was flat on my back Sat and Sun, I couldn’t lift my head let alone get up. They told me I will “crash” on the weekend but at the time I didn’t have a clue what that meant, now I do. It's to be expected, as each big treatment hits my body my body gets weaker and it takes more to come back. So now I am just plain scared knowing that I have another big one coming up. I feel like I can’t take it again and don’t want to continue on. I really am a wimp….

Then like a cool refreshing rain no a shot of adrenaline I read this morning in 2 Cor 4:16-18

“Therefore we do not lose heart….Even though the outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory….while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are SEEN are temporary, but the things which are NOT SEEN are eternal.”

Through this experience I get to see a glimpse of the NOT SEEN and it is exciting!!! I do not know how He is doing it but I know God is working on me, renewing me, strengthening me for the next step ahead and I don’t have to be afraid. He is graciously allowing me to see the eternal and not the temporary and that is what keeps me from losing heart.

Like I learned from a recent sermon I listened to He doesn’t give us His grace like we put salt & pepper on our food, His grace is actually Jesus himself coming alongside us. God the Father doesn’t just shake grace on us when we need it, Jesus actually joins us and goes through it with us. This has been my experience and it is awesome. Even thought its difficult, by far its the best place to be…Close to Jesus.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness”

Rejoicing in His loving Hands,
Miriam

Hey I’m Blonde

Friday we were in Sudbury for an appointment with my oncologist. We had a very good report, my CT scan was clear. Praise God from whom all Blessings Flow….. I will be continuing my treatments as planned.
We went up to the wig room after the appointment and we found a blonde wig. lol I brought it home…hey....I only get to be blonde once…The reactions I got are hilarious!!! My parents and Christina and Ryan were up visiting and that evening we had some friends and Marie over, everyone did a double take. It was fun. I figure if life gives you lemons then make lemonade….and enjoy!!

Thanks for you prayers and please continue, this will be a hard week.

In His Hands,
Miriam

Half –way Through

.

The Lord was gracious to us again…..My white cell count went up from .3 on Monday to 1.4 by Friday. I reminded my nurses that people were praying….. So right after treatment we left for New York which took 10 hours. My brother Tom and Angela’s wedding was wonderful, I am so glad I could go. It was very hard and a very good at the same time if that makes any sense. My doctor delayed my Monday treatment to Wednesday so we got to stay a few extra days. Monday our family and Eds family took a train to the city. We arrived at Grand Central Station and walked up Broadway to Times Square. Next we went to Central Park where I took a rest and the group went on the Carousel. By the afternoon we were all getting tired so the guys bargained down a limo driver to drive us around to see the Statue of Liberty, Ground Zero and take us back to the train station. It was a blast and totally unbelievable, we saw everything we wanted in one day. God is so good.

This Wednesday I have a short treatment which marks half-way. It is taking longer to feel good this time around but that’s expected. I do have good days mingled in with the not good ones. Thanks so much for the help and support, the meals etc that just keep coming…makes those days more bearable. I go back Friday to see my oncologist and get the results from the CT scan I had last Friday.

I(God) will be still, and I (God) will behold in my dwelling place. Isa 18:4

“His stillness is not acquiescence, His silence is not consent…He is not unobservant...He is beholding all things…He has his finger on thy pulse, keenly sensitive to all its fluctuations…But He is only waiting the precise moment when He can interpose most effectively” DDC

Please continue to pray for us….that as we go through each day we would be more and more confident and absolutely sure that the Lord has everything in control, is not worried or anxious etc. but is working everything for our good and His glory!!!!

In His Hands,
Miriam

One more day..

Chemo has been pretty bearable this week so far. Please pray that my white blood cell and platelet counts will go up. Its been an ongoing concern and doc wants it checked tomorrow morning before chemo. Also pray that they will allow me to go to New York to my brother Tom’s wedding and that while I am there I will not catch any type of bug that my body cannot fight off.
Thanks again for your prayers.

In His Hands,
Miriam

The Deed is Done!!

Shopping on Thursday wasn’t too successful as far as a wig but I bought a pattern and material to sew some bandanas….still had hair, I figured I won’t cut it until I have something to wear.

Friday was quit a day. We went to Sudbury for an appointment with my oncologist. He ordered the pathologist to re-check my first sample and confirmed the cancer has not changed but in fact it is the very, very rare one they rediagnosed me with the second time. One of three things will happen, chemo will kill it and it won’t come back, will be a long battle of trying different things to try and kill it or chemo won’t affect it and eventually will lodge into a an organ that can’t be helped. Didn’t really hear anything new. He is keeping a very close watch on any regrowth, the 2 tests I had last week were clear. I go for another CT next week and going back to see him after next round of chemo.

Then they sent us upstairs to the hairdresser/wig room. We got to try on several wigs (blonde one too) and bandana’s. By this time tons of hair was coming out and all I could do is put it up in a claw and do a “comb over” (never thought I would do one of those) in the front. Found a wig very close to my hair and when we came home we realized it was 100% human hair (bonus:) Rebekah then started giving me all these cool hairstyles….then the scissors started getting a little too close for comfort….and Nandor took over. He gave me a buzz cut. Sure feels funny. Kids still are getting used to it and Nandor says I look beautiful. I can live with that :)

Saturday was a relaxing day, I finally gave my room a good cleaning and just let my emotions and eyes leak. Then again like He promised the God of all comforts assured me that “He is closely watching in the hard places and will not allow one trial too many, He will let the dross be consumed and then He will come gloriously to our help.” A Slowman.

Putting Friday’s devotional in my own words…. Its like one day walking past a beautiful meadow. Green grass, birds singing, cows in the shade…the very picture of contentment. Then the next day walking past the same meadow which is now plowed, the ugly bare brown earth exposed. Until we get a vision of what that field will look like when it is ready for the glorious harvest we can not appreciate the ugly brown earth.
“Oh that we might always catch the vision of an abundant harvest, when the great Master Plowman comes, as he often does, and furrows through our very souls, uprooting and turning under that which WE thought most fair, and leaving for our tortured gaze only the bare and the unbeautiful.” “Why should I start at the plough of my Lord that maketh the deep furrows on my soul? I know He is no idle husbandman, He purposeth a crop.” S. Rutherford.

Anticipating the abundant harvest!!
Miriam

Just Go For It!!

When thou goest, thy way shall be opened up before thee step by step…Prov.4:12

Well the time has come, I am loosing my hair and it everywhere!!! I have been really struggling these last few days with the idea of having to cut it all off and even as I write this I am mourning its loss. God made the woman this way and He calls it our glory. I know also that I am vain at heart and that’s probably why it hurts too….

But knowing God has chosen this path for me makes all the difference. I have to step out boldly in faith and I know He will give me all I need to go through this too. He promised!!!! Amazingly again today’s devotional talked about how the Lord never builds a bridge of faith except under the feet of the faith filled traveler. If we see the bridge ahead it would not be a bridge of faith. This is what walking by faith and not by sight means, what great lessons I am getting from this.

“Is there a great barrier across you path just now? Just go for it, in the name of the Lord, and it won’t be there.” HCTrumbull

So today I will go with my girls and shop for some bandanas and possibly a wig….this will be fun…..:) and then visit my hairdresser.

Also a quick update, Monday I had another treatment. My white blood cells and platelets were very low but they decided to go ahead with the treatment anyway. I am feeling good, eating and drinking well. Tomorrow we go to Sudbury to see my oncologist for a check-up after this first round of chemo.

Please continue to pray for us. Especially that in my weakness today He will be strong!!!

In His Hands,
Miriam

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

This past week has been pretty good. Within a few days after Mondays treatment I was feeling really good. I had my appetite back, my taste was coming back and still no hair loss. Our bodies are amazing!!!
One hot afternoon my friend Beth came over and joined me in putting up our feet , sipped cold drinks and had good conversation……My neighbor Marie brought us a delicious dinner again….thanks Marie. On Friday Tara brought me for some more tests but the real reason :) (shhh) we went was to go shoppppinggg……..had a great time. Saturday was a blast, I finally got to join Nandor on a motorcycle ride. I am now healed up enough from the surgery that I can ride.

Thank you all again for your prayers….God has been so good to me. I had a little cry the other day feeling sorry for myself….I sometimes feel useless, not being able to be up and doing what I do as mother…wife….neighbor…friend…etc. I told God I just want to do something that is useful not just lay in bed…… Then He assured me….my child you are being useful to me, in My economy its not the rushing around, being busy etc that is useful, it is when you can’t “do” anymore…. That’s when I can start “doing”….You are in the most useful place because I put you there and its not you it Me that can “do” now. Wow, how awesome is that….

Be still my soul, the Lord is on they side!
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide
In every change He faithful will remain
Be still, my soul-thy best, thy heavn-ly friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end..

In the palm of His loving hand,
Miriam

First Week is Done

Sorry for not keeping in touch but I just did not feel like going on the computer during these last few days. Thank the Lord I got through the first hard week. And thank you all for praying. Knowing that prayers are being offered on my behalf have totally taken on a new meaning. Those moments when its hard for me to pray I know someone is taking the load.
The most uncomfortable part was/is being nauseated sometimes and just an overall feeling of queasiness. Other than that I am a bit more tired than usual. I did get out to the golf tournament put on by Nandors work on Saturday. It was fun, I drove the golf cart and Nandor was my caddy. Sunday we went to church, had a refreshing time and then relaxed for the rest of the day. Today Rebakah brought me for another treatment which was a short 2 hours from start to finish. Now I am off till next Monday. The big concern now is that I don’t develop an infection since my white blood count (fights off bad stuff) is very low. Please pray that this would be kept under control.
Other than that I am well taken care of from flowers...thanks Marie, meals….thanks Allie and Ken and more flowers….thanks Lofthouse social committee and my wonderful family that takes such good care of me. God is so Good…..

Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help,
Whose hope is in the LORD his God,
Who make heaven and earth,
The sea, and all that is in them, who keeps truth forever.
Psalm 146:5-6

In His Hands,
Miriam

Day 3 of Chemo

“Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. (to his servent) “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”
And Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes so he may see.” Then the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around. Elisha.. 2 Kings 6:15-17

My prayer today is that God would open my eyes that I would see HIM in His Majesty and Glory despite the enemy camped about me.

Had another good day at the treatment clinic….Most of all I was totally pumped at the end of the day when I found one of my nurses is a fellow believer. I think my body forgot it was tired after the treatment and I even went for a walk after dinner with Nandor. Wow God has a way of placing people in strategic places. Thank You Lord!!!!!

Thank you for your prayers, it sure makes a difference knowing there are so may people praying.

In His Hands,
Miriam

Day 2 of Chemo

I am back home relaxing, today was a lot shorter about 8:30 til 1:00. Had another good day, Denise my nurse found a good vein and after skillfully getting through my tough skin the needle was in. Thank you to the team of nurses, Denise and Linda and the pharmacist Alan. You take really good care of us; I pray God would richly bless you.

Met a few more ladies WOW there are so many different stories, one of them is finished her chemo today (she was ecstatic) The other lady couldn’t get the chemo today because her blood count wasn’t high enough so she went home to wait….then there was a quiet, frail lady that just came in, got her treatment and left. Its so easy to let my mind wonder at all the “supposes” and if I go down that road it produces fear. But if I trust God like a little child, I can actually rejoice while I have all these “supposes” all around me.

Hebrews 13:5-6 says: “Be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man (cancer) shall do unto me.”

There’s a stream of trouble across my path;
It is black and deep and wide.
Bitter the hour the future hath
When I cross its swelling tide
But I smile and sing and say:
“I will hope and trust always;
I’ll bear the sorrow that comes tomorrow,
But I’ll borrow none today.”

‘The eagle that soars in the upper air does not worry itself as to how it is to cross rivers.’

In my weakness He is STRONG.....

In His Hands,
Miriam

(: When I got in the car there were flowers on my seat. Thank-you hun. I love you!! :)

Day 1 of Chemo

I started my new “job” today :) Things went well. I had a really good night sleep and was up bright and early. We arrived at the hospital at 8:30 and finished at about 3:00. Nandor made it back to his other job to put in a few hours anyways. Thanks be to God and his employer that they are really good with letting him take whatever time he needs. After a whole slew of things they needed to tell us about the chemo I sat on my throne. (really comfortable lazy boy type chair) I got hooked up and meds flowed in for the next 4.5 hours. Its kind of boring but we chatted with each other, nurse, patients, watched a chemo video, yeah… and got an awesome foot massage.(this is great I keep being treated like a queen) Two songs I thought of today were How Great thou Art and When Peace Like a River…..Wow did you ever hear/sing those words? Yes, to my shame many times I just sang them without really thinking…But they are powerful.

I took these verses with me today: Isaiah 43:1-3

But now, thus says the Lord, who created you,…
Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you,
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
I am the Lord your God!!!!

I'm glad I can write this update today, I figure when I feel good I’ll do it and when I don’t (will have those days too) I won’t.

Your prayers have been so appreciated, through them God blesses and encourages us. Wow what a deal, God is amazing!!!

In His Hands and for His Glory,
Love,
Miriam

Follow Up and New Diagnosis

Yesterday we went to Sudbury for a follow up with the surgeon and then my oncologist. I have healed well as far as the surgery is concerned. I had been concerned with ongoing bleeding but that has been a good thing, its my body cleaning itself. The pathology report was not as good. The tumors I had removed are a different cancer than they originally thought. It is an even more rare (1:million ) and a very aggressive type. The prognosis isn’t too good either.

Monday morning I will be starting chemo treatments for the next 3 months. 4 rounds of 3 weeks. Because of the rare type of cancer the doctors are just guessing/hoping this will work. The cocktail they will use doesn’t usually cause a lot of nausea, I will have numbness in fingers/toes (which I am used to with my MS) differences in tastes and will probably loose my hair. I have a prescription for a wig so I asked Nandor if he wants a blonde for a change. LOL Treatments will be done in North Bay so that will be nice and close to home. Nandor, Rebekah and my friend Tara will be transporting me as needed. The first week I go for 5 days, each day will be about 2 hours given intravenously. The next week I go Monday and the next week Monday again. Then the whole thing starts again.

We are still absorbing this news slowly, it doesn’t seem real yet. Yes, its scarry standing in front of all the unknowns….BUT I am more than confident that God is with me. I am His child…behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!! Every molecule in this universe down to every cell in my body is safely and totally in the control of His loving hand. There is no such thing as mistakes, bad luck etc., I am not a statistic or a number, I am on a mission to show off His glory and goodness!!! And He promised that whatever He calls us to, He will give us the strength and courage to fulfill.

This mornings devotional reading was just perfect. God even had that planned for today. My peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you, not as the world gives…LET NOT YOUR HEART BE TROUBLED, NEITHER LET IT BE AFRAID…
So this is where I stand this morning surrounded by His peace. Really its just unexplainable but REAL!!!!

Please keep praying that my family and I can keep trusting Him moment by moment and that things will go well Monday with my first treatment. Pray that the chemo will be effective and kill the cancer.

In His Hand,
Miriam

Please feel free to send this blog address on to anyone you think would be interested. I don’t have several of my extended family's email addresses but trust you guys can help me out with that. thanks

God Is So GOOD!!!

I am back at the computer now and am at a loss of words to express how I feel. Our Father has been so kind and gracious to us this past week. From His guiding hand, constant presence, to His people being His hands, His feet and His voice, my family and I are truly blessed. As He brings us through this trial I am more and more amazed that I have the privilege of being His Child!!!

..….Thus says the Lord, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine……Isaiah 43

Thank you so much for your emails, cards, calls etc and most of all your prayers. Continue praying that as He works in our lives His Kingdom would advance and His Will would be done.

In My Fathers Hands,
Miriam

…..Because He lives I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives all fear is gone,
Because I know He holds the future……
Life is worth living JUST BECAUSE HE LIVES.

Update From Rebekah

Hey everyone,
Mom and dad made is home safely Friday night. The trip was kinda hard and she had a rough day yesterday. Today looks like it’s a bit better.
Thank you all and please continue to pray for her recovery; God bless,
Rebekah

Day After Surgery

Miriam is doing well. After a slow start ( she needed blood because
her haemoglobin was low) throughout the day she was taking longer and
longer walks. This evening she is off pain suppression only a Tylenol here and there.
She really enjoyed all your responses to the first report.
Thank you all and keep on praying. It truly works.
In our Father's hand,
Nandor

Surgery Went Well

We thank our Heavenly Father for his mercies that he showers on us all of our life but especially at these time of trials.

Miriam is recovering from the surgery that lasted about 2 hours.

I had an opportunity to talk with Dr Mazurka the surgeon.

He said that he was able to perform a hysterectomy and remove all visible disease without needing to go into any other tissues or organs. (PraiseGOD!)

Only after the examination of the removed tissues can he make recommendations for future treatments.

Please continue to pray for the staff as they are working on to control Miriam's pain, pray for speedy recovery, wisdom for the Dr as he makes future decisions, for me that I would be able to minister to and support her at this time and that we will go on bringing glory to God for his goodness and grace.

May God richly bless you all for your faithfulness.

In our Father's hand,
Nandor

New Date

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow……
I did get a sooner than later date. Surgery will now be Monday May 4.
Thanks for all your prayers and please continue as we move forward on this journey.

In my Fathers hands,
Miriam

We Are Back.....

While we were in the pre-op clinic in Hamilton yesterday (Tuesday) we got the news that the OR will be shut down for the week and all the surgery’s are cancelled. This is due to black dust/soot in the ventilation system. Wow, what a surprise. It doesn’t seem to make sense from our perspective BUT GOD is still on the throne and nothing is surprising to Him.
Please pray that they can slot me in soon and in the meantime my family and I would worship and serve Him while we wait.

You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.
Trust in the Lord forever,
For in the LORD is everlasting strength.
Isaiah 26:3-4

Still in my Fathers hands,
Miriam

Date for Surgery

The date for my surgery is next Thursday April 23. I will have to be there Tues morning for pre-op stuff.
It will be at Henderson Hospital in Hamilton.

Thanks for your prayers and please continue to pray that God would be glorified and we would put all our trust in Him because He is Worthy and Able!!!

Resting in my Fathers hands,
Miriam and family

Consult With Surgeon

I have been feeling quite well, not much pain. Consult with surgeon went well, he is as puzzled as everyone else. The rare type of cancer I have typically comes back 5 years or later for 30% of patients. Mine came in 9 months….
I will be going to Hamilton for surgery within the month.
Please pray that a spot will become available sooner than later.

In My Fathers Hands,
Miriam

Back to Sudbury

Things are a bit worse than what we thought on Sunday. We went up to Sudbury today to see my Oncologist and there are several new growths. I am meeting with the surgeon (from Hamilton) next Friday to plan for the surgery to remove whatever they need to. Then we will be looking forward to chemo treatments.

Please pray for strength and grace to stand firm on His promises,
Miriam

Tumor is back

Miriam has been struggling with some abdominal pain since Friday.
Today at the Emergency it has been confirmed that the tumor has grown again.

Please pray for God to comfort us and that we would trust Him regardless of the circumstances.

Thanks,
Nandor