Half –way Through

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The Lord was gracious to us again…..My white cell count went up from .3 on Monday to 1.4 by Friday. I reminded my nurses that people were praying….. So right after treatment we left for New York which took 10 hours. My brother Tom and Angela’s wedding was wonderful, I am so glad I could go. It was very hard and a very good at the same time if that makes any sense. My doctor delayed my Monday treatment to Wednesday so we got to stay a few extra days. Monday our family and Eds family took a train to the city. We arrived at Grand Central Station and walked up Broadway to Times Square. Next we went to Central Park where I took a rest and the group went on the Carousel. By the afternoon we were all getting tired so the guys bargained down a limo driver to drive us around to see the Statue of Liberty, Ground Zero and take us back to the train station. It was a blast and totally unbelievable, we saw everything we wanted in one day. God is so good.

This Wednesday I have a short treatment which marks half-way. It is taking longer to feel good this time around but that’s expected. I do have good days mingled in with the not good ones. Thanks so much for the help and support, the meals etc that just keep coming…makes those days more bearable. I go back Friday to see my oncologist and get the results from the CT scan I had last Friday.

I(God) will be still, and I (God) will behold in my dwelling place. Isa 18:4

“His stillness is not acquiescence, His silence is not consent…He is not unobservant...He is beholding all things…He has his finger on thy pulse, keenly sensitive to all its fluctuations…But He is only waiting the precise moment when He can interpose most effectively” DDC

Please continue to pray for us….that as we go through each day we would be more and more confident and absolutely sure that the Lord has everything in control, is not worried or anxious etc. but is working everything for our good and His glory!!!!

In His Hands,
Miriam

One more day..

Chemo has been pretty bearable this week so far. Please pray that my white blood cell and platelet counts will go up. Its been an ongoing concern and doc wants it checked tomorrow morning before chemo. Also pray that they will allow me to go to New York to my brother Tom’s wedding and that while I am there I will not catch any type of bug that my body cannot fight off.
Thanks again for your prayers.

In His Hands,
Miriam

The Deed is Done!!

Shopping on Thursday wasn’t too successful as far as a wig but I bought a pattern and material to sew some bandanas….still had hair, I figured I won’t cut it until I have something to wear.

Friday was quit a day. We went to Sudbury for an appointment with my oncologist. He ordered the pathologist to re-check my first sample and confirmed the cancer has not changed but in fact it is the very, very rare one they rediagnosed me with the second time. One of three things will happen, chemo will kill it and it won’t come back, will be a long battle of trying different things to try and kill it or chemo won’t affect it and eventually will lodge into a an organ that can’t be helped. Didn’t really hear anything new. He is keeping a very close watch on any regrowth, the 2 tests I had last week were clear. I go for another CT next week and going back to see him after next round of chemo.

Then they sent us upstairs to the hairdresser/wig room. We got to try on several wigs (blonde one too) and bandana’s. By this time tons of hair was coming out and all I could do is put it up in a claw and do a “comb over” (never thought I would do one of those) in the front. Found a wig very close to my hair and when we came home we realized it was 100% human hair (bonus:) Rebekah then started giving me all these cool hairstyles….then the scissors started getting a little too close for comfort….and Nandor took over. He gave me a buzz cut. Sure feels funny. Kids still are getting used to it and Nandor says I look beautiful. I can live with that :)

Saturday was a relaxing day, I finally gave my room a good cleaning and just let my emotions and eyes leak. Then again like He promised the God of all comforts assured me that “He is closely watching in the hard places and will not allow one trial too many, He will let the dross be consumed and then He will come gloriously to our help.” A Slowman.

Putting Friday’s devotional in my own words…. Its like one day walking past a beautiful meadow. Green grass, birds singing, cows in the shade…the very picture of contentment. Then the next day walking past the same meadow which is now plowed, the ugly bare brown earth exposed. Until we get a vision of what that field will look like when it is ready for the glorious harvest we can not appreciate the ugly brown earth.
“Oh that we might always catch the vision of an abundant harvest, when the great Master Plowman comes, as he often does, and furrows through our very souls, uprooting and turning under that which WE thought most fair, and leaving for our tortured gaze only the bare and the unbeautiful.” “Why should I start at the plough of my Lord that maketh the deep furrows on my soul? I know He is no idle husbandman, He purposeth a crop.” S. Rutherford.

Anticipating the abundant harvest!!
Miriam

Just Go For It!!

When thou goest, thy way shall be opened up before thee step by step…Prov.4:12

Well the time has come, I am loosing my hair and it everywhere!!! I have been really struggling these last few days with the idea of having to cut it all off and even as I write this I am mourning its loss. God made the woman this way and He calls it our glory. I know also that I am vain at heart and that’s probably why it hurts too….

But knowing God has chosen this path for me makes all the difference. I have to step out boldly in faith and I know He will give me all I need to go through this too. He promised!!!! Amazingly again today’s devotional talked about how the Lord never builds a bridge of faith except under the feet of the faith filled traveler. If we see the bridge ahead it would not be a bridge of faith. This is what walking by faith and not by sight means, what great lessons I am getting from this.

“Is there a great barrier across you path just now? Just go for it, in the name of the Lord, and it won’t be there.” HCTrumbull

So today I will go with my girls and shop for some bandanas and possibly a wig….this will be fun…..:) and then visit my hairdresser.

Also a quick update, Monday I had another treatment. My white blood cells and platelets were very low but they decided to go ahead with the treatment anyway. I am feeling good, eating and drinking well. Tomorrow we go to Sudbury to see my oncologist for a check-up after this first round of chemo.

Please continue to pray for us. Especially that in my weakness today He will be strong!!!

In His Hands,
Miriam

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

This past week has been pretty good. Within a few days after Mondays treatment I was feeling really good. I had my appetite back, my taste was coming back and still no hair loss. Our bodies are amazing!!!
One hot afternoon my friend Beth came over and joined me in putting up our feet , sipped cold drinks and had good conversation……My neighbor Marie brought us a delicious dinner again….thanks Marie. On Friday Tara brought me for some more tests but the real reason :) (shhh) we went was to go shoppppinggg……..had a great time. Saturday was a blast, I finally got to join Nandor on a motorcycle ride. I am now healed up enough from the surgery that I can ride.

Thank you all again for your prayers….God has been so good to me. I had a little cry the other day feeling sorry for myself….I sometimes feel useless, not being able to be up and doing what I do as mother…wife….neighbor…friend…etc. I told God I just want to do something that is useful not just lay in bed…… Then He assured me….my child you are being useful to me, in My economy its not the rushing around, being busy etc that is useful, it is when you can’t “do” anymore…. That’s when I can start “doing”….You are in the most useful place because I put you there and its not you it Me that can “do” now. Wow, how awesome is that….

Be still my soul, the Lord is on they side!
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide
In every change He faithful will remain
Be still, my soul-thy best, thy heavn-ly friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end..

In the palm of His loving hand,
Miriam

First Week is Done

Sorry for not keeping in touch but I just did not feel like going on the computer during these last few days. Thank the Lord I got through the first hard week. And thank you all for praying. Knowing that prayers are being offered on my behalf have totally taken on a new meaning. Those moments when its hard for me to pray I know someone is taking the load.
The most uncomfortable part was/is being nauseated sometimes and just an overall feeling of queasiness. Other than that I am a bit more tired than usual. I did get out to the golf tournament put on by Nandors work on Saturday. It was fun, I drove the golf cart and Nandor was my caddy. Sunday we went to church, had a refreshing time and then relaxed for the rest of the day. Today Rebakah brought me for another treatment which was a short 2 hours from start to finish. Now I am off till next Monday. The big concern now is that I don’t develop an infection since my white blood count (fights off bad stuff) is very low. Please pray that this would be kept under control.
Other than that I am well taken care of from flowers...thanks Marie, meals….thanks Allie and Ken and more flowers….thanks Lofthouse social committee and my wonderful family that takes such good care of me. God is so Good…..

Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help,
Whose hope is in the LORD his God,
Who make heaven and earth,
The sea, and all that is in them, who keeps truth forever.
Psalm 146:5-6

In His Hands,
Miriam

Day 3 of Chemo

“Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. (to his servent) “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”
And Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes so he may see.” Then the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around. Elisha.. 2 Kings 6:15-17

My prayer today is that God would open my eyes that I would see HIM in His Majesty and Glory despite the enemy camped about me.

Had another good day at the treatment clinic….Most of all I was totally pumped at the end of the day when I found one of my nurses is a fellow believer. I think my body forgot it was tired after the treatment and I even went for a walk after dinner with Nandor. Wow God has a way of placing people in strategic places. Thank You Lord!!!!!

Thank you for your prayers, it sure makes a difference knowing there are so may people praying.

In His Hands,
Miriam