Thursday, August 6, 2009

Don’t Lose Heart!!!

Its been a while since I wrote….finally feel good enough to get back on the computer. The recovery from the last big chemo week has been very hard and slow. I was flat on my back Sat and Sun, I couldn’t lift my head let alone get up. They told me I will “crash” on the weekend but at the time I didn’t have a clue what that meant, now I do. It's to be expected, as each big treatment hits my body my body gets weaker and it takes more to come back. So now I am just plain scared knowing that I have another big one coming up. I feel like I can’t take it again and don’t want to continue on. I really am a wimp….

Then like a cool refreshing rain no a shot of adrenaline I read this morning in 2 Cor 4:16-18

“Therefore we do not lose heart….Even though the outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory….while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are SEEN are temporary, but the things which are NOT SEEN are eternal.”

Through this experience I get to see a glimpse of the NOT SEEN and it is exciting!!! I do not know how He is doing it but I know God is working on me, renewing me, strengthening me for the next step ahead and I don’t have to be afraid. He is graciously allowing me to see the eternal and not the temporary and that is what keeps me from losing heart.

Like I learned from a recent sermon I listened to He doesn’t give us His grace like we put salt & pepper on our food, His grace is actually Jesus himself coming alongside us. God the Father doesn’t just shake grace on us when we need it, Jesus actually joins us and goes through it with us. This has been my experience and it is awesome. Even thought its difficult, by far its the best place to be…Close to Jesus.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness”

Rejoicing in His loving Hands,

1 comment:

  1. Dear Miriam, I'm so sorry to hear that your weekend was that rough! It's hard to imagine being so weak that you can't even lift your head. Wow. I praise God for His sustaining grace and His coming alongside you and faithfully enabling you to endure.

    During those horrible times, it would be so good if we could find out a bit of what you're going through so that we can pray for you more specifically. Maybe one of your family members could put a quick note on? Anyway, I love you and am glad for all that you are learning and for sharing it with us. Your friend, Lorna