Just Go For It!!

When thou goest, thy way shall be opened up before thee step by step…Prov.4:12

Well the time has come, I am loosing my hair and it everywhere!!! I have been really struggling these last few days with the idea of having to cut it all off and even as I write this I am mourning its loss. God made the woman this way and He calls it our glory. I know also that I am vain at heart and that’s probably why it hurts too….

But knowing God has chosen this path for me makes all the difference. I have to step out boldly in faith and I know He will give me all I need to go through this too. He promised!!!! Amazingly again today’s devotional talked about how the Lord never builds a bridge of faith except under the feet of the faith filled traveler. If we see the bridge ahead it would not be a bridge of faith. This is what walking by faith and not by sight means, what great lessons I am getting from this.

“Is there a great barrier across you path just now? Just go for it, in the name of the Lord, and it won’t be there.” HCTrumbull

So today I will go with my girls and shop for some bandanas and possibly a wig….this will be fun…..:) and then visit my hairdresser.

Also a quick update, Monday I had another treatment. My white blood cells and platelets were very low but they decided to go ahead with the treatment anyway. I am feeling good, eating and drinking well. Tomorrow we go to Sudbury to see my oncologist for a check-up after this first round of chemo.

Please continue to pray for us. Especially that in my weakness today He will be strong!!!

In His Hands,
Miriam

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

This past week has been pretty good. Within a few days after Mondays treatment I was feeling really good. I had my appetite back, my taste was coming back and still no hair loss. Our bodies are amazing!!!
One hot afternoon my friend Beth came over and joined me in putting up our feet , sipped cold drinks and had good conversation……My neighbor Marie brought us a delicious dinner again….thanks Marie. On Friday Tara brought me for some more tests but the real reason :) (shhh) we went was to go shoppppinggg……..had a great time. Saturday was a blast, I finally got to join Nandor on a motorcycle ride. I am now healed up enough from the surgery that I can ride.

Thank you all again for your prayers….God has been so good to me. I had a little cry the other day feeling sorry for myself….I sometimes feel useless, not being able to be up and doing what I do as mother…wife….neighbor…friend…etc. I told God I just want to do something that is useful not just lay in bed…… Then He assured me….my child you are being useful to me, in My economy its not the rushing around, being busy etc that is useful, it is when you can’t “do” anymore…. That’s when I can start “doing”….You are in the most useful place because I put you there and its not you it Me that can “do” now. Wow, how awesome is that….

Be still my soul, the Lord is on they side!
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide
In every change He faithful will remain
Be still, my soul-thy best, thy heavn-ly friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end..

In the palm of His loving hand,
Miriam

First Week is Done

Sorry for not keeping in touch but I just did not feel like going on the computer during these last few days. Thank the Lord I got through the first hard week. And thank you all for praying. Knowing that prayers are being offered on my behalf have totally taken on a new meaning. Those moments when its hard for me to pray I know someone is taking the load.
The most uncomfortable part was/is being nauseated sometimes and just an overall feeling of queasiness. Other than that I am a bit more tired than usual. I did get out to the golf tournament put on by Nandors work on Saturday. It was fun, I drove the golf cart and Nandor was my caddy. Sunday we went to church, had a refreshing time and then relaxed for the rest of the day. Today Rebakah brought me for another treatment which was a short 2 hours from start to finish. Now I am off till next Monday. The big concern now is that I don’t develop an infection since my white blood count (fights off bad stuff) is very low. Please pray that this would be kept under control.
Other than that I am well taken care of from flowers...thanks Marie, meals….thanks Allie and Ken and more flowers….thanks Lofthouse social committee and my wonderful family that takes such good care of me. God is so Good…..

Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help,
Whose hope is in the LORD his God,
Who make heaven and earth,
The sea, and all that is in them, who keeps truth forever.
Psalm 146:5-6

In His Hands,
Miriam

Day 3 of Chemo

“Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. (to his servent) “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”
And Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes so he may see.” Then the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around. Elisha.. 2 Kings 6:15-17

My prayer today is that God would open my eyes that I would see HIM in His Majesty and Glory despite the enemy camped about me.

Had another good day at the treatment clinic….Most of all I was totally pumped at the end of the day when I found one of my nurses is a fellow believer. I think my body forgot it was tired after the treatment and I even went for a walk after dinner with Nandor. Wow God has a way of placing people in strategic places. Thank You Lord!!!!!

Thank you for your prayers, it sure makes a difference knowing there are so may people praying.

In His Hands,
Miriam

Day 2 of Chemo

I am back home relaxing, today was a lot shorter about 8:30 til 1:00. Had another good day, Denise my nurse found a good vein and after skillfully getting through my tough skin the needle was in. Thank you to the team of nurses, Denise and Linda and the pharmacist Alan. You take really good care of us; I pray God would richly bless you.

Met a few more ladies WOW there are so many different stories, one of them is finished her chemo today (she was ecstatic) The other lady couldn’t get the chemo today because her blood count wasn’t high enough so she went home to wait….then there was a quiet, frail lady that just came in, got her treatment and left. Its so easy to let my mind wonder at all the “supposes” and if I go down that road it produces fear. But if I trust God like a little child, I can actually rejoice while I have all these “supposes” all around me.

Hebrews 13:5-6 says: “Be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man (cancer) shall do unto me.”

There’s a stream of trouble across my path;
It is black and deep and wide.
Bitter the hour the future hath
When I cross its swelling tide
But I smile and sing and say:
“I will hope and trust always;
I’ll bear the sorrow that comes tomorrow,
But I’ll borrow none today.”

‘The eagle that soars in the upper air does not worry itself as to how it is to cross rivers.’

In my weakness He is STRONG.....

In His Hands,
Miriam

(: When I got in the car there were flowers on my seat. Thank-you hun. I love you!! :)

Day 1 of Chemo

I started my new “job” today :) Things went well. I had a really good night sleep and was up bright and early. We arrived at the hospital at 8:30 and finished at about 3:00. Nandor made it back to his other job to put in a few hours anyways. Thanks be to God and his employer that they are really good with letting him take whatever time he needs. After a whole slew of things they needed to tell us about the chemo I sat on my throne. (really comfortable lazy boy type chair) I got hooked up and meds flowed in for the next 4.5 hours. Its kind of boring but we chatted with each other, nurse, patients, watched a chemo video, yeah… and got an awesome foot massage.(this is great I keep being treated like a queen) Two songs I thought of today were How Great thou Art and When Peace Like a River…..Wow did you ever hear/sing those words? Yes, to my shame many times I just sang them without really thinking…But they are powerful.

I took these verses with me today: Isaiah 43:1-3

But now, thus says the Lord, who created you,…
Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you,
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
I am the Lord your God!!!!

I'm glad I can write this update today, I figure when I feel good I’ll do it and when I don’t (will have those days too) I won’t.

Your prayers have been so appreciated, through them God blesses and encourages us. Wow what a deal, God is amazing!!!

In His Hands and for His Glory,
Love,
Miriam

Follow Up and New Diagnosis

Yesterday we went to Sudbury for a follow up with the surgeon and then my oncologist. I have healed well as far as the surgery is concerned. I had been concerned with ongoing bleeding but that has been a good thing, its my body cleaning itself. The pathology report was not as good. The tumors I had removed are a different cancer than they originally thought. It is an even more rare (1:million ) and a very aggressive type. The prognosis isn’t too good either.

Monday morning I will be starting chemo treatments for the next 3 months. 4 rounds of 3 weeks. Because of the rare type of cancer the doctors are just guessing/hoping this will work. The cocktail they will use doesn’t usually cause a lot of nausea, I will have numbness in fingers/toes (which I am used to with my MS) differences in tastes and will probably loose my hair. I have a prescription for a wig so I asked Nandor if he wants a blonde for a change. LOL Treatments will be done in North Bay so that will be nice and close to home. Nandor, Rebekah and my friend Tara will be transporting me as needed. The first week I go for 5 days, each day will be about 2 hours given intravenously. The next week I go Monday and the next week Monday again. Then the whole thing starts again.

We are still absorbing this news slowly, it doesn’t seem real yet. Yes, its scarry standing in front of all the unknowns….BUT I am more than confident that God is with me. I am His child…behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!! Every molecule in this universe down to every cell in my body is safely and totally in the control of His loving hand. There is no such thing as mistakes, bad luck etc., I am not a statistic or a number, I am on a mission to show off His glory and goodness!!! And He promised that whatever He calls us to, He will give us the strength and courage to fulfill.

This mornings devotional reading was just perfect. God even had that planned for today. My peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you, not as the world gives…LET NOT YOUR HEART BE TROUBLED, NEITHER LET IT BE AFRAID…
So this is where I stand this morning surrounded by His peace. Really its just unexplainable but REAL!!!!

Please keep praying that my family and I can keep trusting Him moment by moment and that things will go well Monday with my first treatment. Pray that the chemo will be effective and kill the cancer.

In His Hand,
Miriam

Please feel free to send this blog address on to anyone you think would be interested. I don’t have several of my extended family's email addresses but trust you guys can help me out with that. thanks