Weeping Yet Rejoicing with Joy Unspeakable

On Thursday we got more news we didn’t want to hear…..My calcium is still going up steadily and there is nothing the doc can really do about it. My tumor has grown from 9cm to 13cm, I can feel it a lot now but the pain isn’t too bad. They are putting me on chemo weekly now hoping that it will be more effective on the tumor and it will help bring the calcium down. I am also on Prednisone to help my platelets be able to replenish quicker. Doc has no explanation how my body can handle the calcium being so high…
But the neatest thing happened as we were going through the appointment, my nurse sat down and asked if she could ask us some questions….she asked what is it that is bringing us through this, is it our faith? We had the opportunity to share with her “the hope that lies within us” 1Peter3:15. What an encouragement to our hearts, yes, God is still moving, working and we get to be a part of it. So as the verse says below when “He reveals just a glimpse of His glory we are glad with exceeding joy”

“Beloved do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; But rejoice to the extent that you partake in Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator.” 1 Peter 4:12, 13, 19

So going forward I am so excited to see what God is doing, as difficult as it is sometimes He keeps giving opportunities to enjoy my family, pray, learn, read a lot and continue growing in Him…I still have a purpose…every day He gives me, I have to live to the fullest until the time comes when He steps in and heals me or takes me home. He sure gives the grace I need everyday!!! And even more exciting is picturing and meditating on Heaven as the scripture describes it…here is a tidbit, I’m sure you never thought of heaven this way before ”a bright, vibrant and physical Heaven. free from sin, cancer, suffering and death and brimming with Christ’s presence, wondrous natural beauty, and the richness of human culture as God intended it. It will be a place with real people with real bodies enjoying close relationships with God and each other, eating, drinking, working, playing, traveling, worshiping and discovering.” R.A Like Paul says “sometimes I feel torn between the two….” Phil 1:23
My prayer is that those who don’t know Jesus as their Saviour would come to know Him so they can also have this Blessed Assurance.

Blessed assurance Jesus is mine,
O what a foretaste of glory divine
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood
This is my story, this is my song
Praising My Savior all the day long

Perfect submission, perfect delight!
Visions of rapture now burst on m sight:
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love
This is my story, this is my song
Praising My Savior all the day long

Perfect submission – all is at rest, I in my Savior am happy and blest;
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love
This is my story, this is my song
Praising My Savior all the day long. A hymn by Fanny Crosby

Please continue to pray for wisdom for the doctors , us and that God would be glorified and He would continually shape and mold us to be like His Son through this experience.
In My Fathers Hands
Miriam

Going to See Doctor

Dear Prayer Warriors,

Please pray that as we go to the doctor tomorrow we would go with the peace of God. We will be recieving the results of the CT scan I had Monday and what to expect next.

I have not been feeling the best lately but its still isn't too bad. But most of all we still stand firmly on the Promises of God....He is with us.

In His Hands,
Miriam

Update After a Difficult Week

Well here we are Oct 23rd, I can’t believe how time just keeps flying. Thanksgiving Weekend has come and gone. I didn’t update since then so I will add a few pics below and like they say “a picture is worth a thousand words”

When I was sitting and soaking this all in, all I could do was be overwhelmed that God has given me another year and God has given me such an awesome family….what a blessed woman I am.

Well on to the update, for the last 3 weeks I have been waiting for my chemo treatment. Things have gone pretty much how they should but this last week everything just started peaking, either too much or too little. My calcium was too high Sat so they kept me in for a while to rehydrate me and sent me home…they wanted to check next day so I went in Sunday morning. Calcium came down a little, defiantly not to the desired level but I still got to go home/ church. I left so fast that they forgot to take the intravenous needle out of my arm…so here I am Sunday morning this crazy woman running back in to ER waving her arm, telling them to hurry because I will be late for church… By Mon afternoon I was feeling really bad again and Nandor brought me back to ER. This time the issue was very low levels of Magnesium….they kept me overnight to replenish that in the ER…there was no room to be admitted so we all decided its best for me to come home instead of being exposed to everything in the ER. Wednesday back for bloodwork and found out there will be no chemo because platelets are too low but Doc ordered an intravenous drug for my high calcium for Thursday. Then Friday I got a blood transfusion because my hemoglobin was very low. So how is that for a full week of work?....well that’s what it felt like.
I wonder and ask the Lord what is all this accomplishing…what is this good for? Then he tenderly reminds me…I work through the little things…I have adopted you, you are my child, I love you and I am working on your heart…making you more patient…more confident in Me….giving more hope and faith…and giving you the eyes to walk by faith and not by sight. Then if that’s what you are doing Lord….I give You this “week of work”.

Only one life to offer – Jesus, my Lord and King
Only one tongue to praise Thee – And of Thy mercy sing
Only one hearts devotions – Saviour O may it be
Consecrated alone to Thy matchless glory,
Yielding fully to Thee

Only one hour is mine, Lord –May it be used for Thee
May ev’ry passing moment Count for eternity
Souls all about are dying, Dying in sin and shame
Help me bring them the message of Calvry’s redemption, In thy glorious Name.
A hymn by: M.Dunlop

Before I close here is a verse that we can cling onto as we go through difficulties…another awesome promise.
The Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed (worry). Duet 31:8

In His Hands,
Miriam

Thanks For Your Prayers, I’m Home….

My high calcium issue has been brought down to a more normal level. I was discharged on Tues then Wednesday 9:30-4:00 I went for my chemo treatment…and Thursday I had an appointment with my doc. Praise be to God my platelets had come up to 145 from 63 the last week…I also got another blood transfusion while in hospital so that part of my blood is good to for now. The next little challenge is getting over my day 4-5 after chemo sickness…my doctor did give me a lesser dose of chemo and more meds to tie me over so we will see how those days go. I haven’t had really any major pain caused by the tumor during this whole time… doc is happy with that and I am so thankful…Thank You Lord.
I had such a blessed time in the hospital this time….instead of looking at it from my human, fleshly perspective I decided instead of complaining of how much of a waste of time it is just sitting in the hospital doing nothing and being extremely bored, I will spend this as a quiet time of fellowship with my God….wow what a blessed experience it was….i am so used to rushing into His presence and rattling off my list of wants and needs and then leaving quickly….this time there was nowhere to rush off to…its even hard to explain because it not a physical thing you can’t put your finger on…He just comes and ministers to your heart and there is NO better place to be….imagine the maker/ sustainer of the universe has the time to spend with one of His creatures, no hurry just in a sense hangin out. I pray that all you that know and love Him would stop and take some time to be quiet with God….it will sure do you good and bless your soul.

In His Hands,
Miriam

Prayer Request

Hello Everyone,

I just want to send out a quick prayer request. Mom was admitted into the hospital yesterday. Her calcium has gone up again. I just ask that you pray the levels will come down. On a note of thankfulness tho, her platelets have come back up!

Thank you all so very much!
Much love in Christ,
Rebekah

CT Scan Results

We went back to Sudbury to get the results of the CT scan and again its more news we didn’t want to hear, we were hoping the tumor shrunk a lot but it really didn’t. It is about the same size….thankfully it isn’t growing :) As we spoke with the doctor the plans remain the same to keep on going with the chemo. I had to have it delayed a week again because my platelet’s just don’t want to recover. I also have the pain back which means there is some type of activity there again. That was enough for that day…..the next day, yesterday the doctor calls me that the blood test results came back and my calcium is very high again and I will need the drug to bring it down. Also my platelets are a bit lower now so no chemo again….my pain is not too bad, I don’t need to take any meds for the pain yet.
I am so amazed again at how God works through His people and their prayers….yesterday I was just getting really tired and sad from these results again….but instead of spiraling down into pity for myself, for some unexplainable reason (I believe Gods people were praying) I was given this joy and peace and ability to look up again and “ see Him, high and lifted up” there is a bigger picture, there is a purpose, God loves me and has this all orchestrated for my good….nothing comes to Him as a surprise. I have been given another day to LIVE, that means I have a purpose, a reason for being here today….what am I going to do with it? I don’t want to waste it…I can pray, I can love my family, I can talk/write to people, I can help someone, etc. there are so many opportunities out there, will I seize them or let them go by because I am too busy worrying about myself. This is the challenge that I face daily…please pray that I would be able to keep my eyes on the things that are important and real and let the things of this earth grow strangely dim.
I don’t remember if I shared this song but it was in my head all yesterday so…be blessed….this is my story….

Day by Day

Day by day and with each passing moment, strength I find to meet my trials here: trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment, I’ve no cause for worry or for fear. He whose heart is kind beyond all measure, gives unto each day what He deems best, lovingly its part of pain and pleasure, mingling toil with peace and rest.

Every day the Lord Himself is near me, with a special mercy for each hour; all my cares He fain would bear and cheer me, He whose name is Counselor and Power. The protection of his child and treasure, is a charge that on Himself He laid; as your days, your strength shall be in measure, this the pledge to me He made.

Help me then in every tribulation so to trust Your promises, O Lord. That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation, offered me within your Holy Word. Help me, Lord when toil and trouble meeting, ever to take, as from a father’s hand, one by one, the days, the moments fleeting, till I reach the promised land. A hymn written by: CS Berg

Keep praying….I need it :)
In His Hands,
Miriam

Walk of Hope

My bother Ed, my sister Christina and Meaghan my neice participated in the Walk of Hope in Windsor this past weekend. Its to raise awareness and money for ovarian cancer.
Thanks is just not enough.....I love you too.

In His Hands,
Miriam